me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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