Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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