Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
