Umm I'm too high to move.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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