sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
