so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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