Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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