for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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