Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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