just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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