Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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