New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
