if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
