Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
