He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up under a house in Key West
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
