hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
