okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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