i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
