the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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