Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
