Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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