why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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