y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
