Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
