You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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