theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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