She said her name was "party"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
