She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
why is half of my head shaved?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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