No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
