My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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