I want to have your abortion
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
