i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
