She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
