you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
