? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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