I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
