Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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