I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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