I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
