It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
