i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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