I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
