she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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