census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
