David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
