You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
