There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
