I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
