I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
