bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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