THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
