i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
