Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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